Perpetua & Felicity
Piled together on one third of our slouchy couch, with our white shepherd Marlowe occupying the other two thirds, we were having one of those nights where it wasn’t quite bedtime and we weren’t quite sure what to do with ourselves. Glancing at the stack of books on our mantle, I thought, I’ll read aloud from Stories of the Saints. What a wholesome way to end an evening. I opened to a page near the front of the book, “Perpetua and Felicity.”
Perpetua lived in Carthage around the end of the second century. She believed in Jesus and called herself a Christian. Her family begged her to keep her faith a secret, but she insisted on being baptized. Her servant Felicity also believed and was baptized.
It was not legal to be a Christian, so they were imprisoned for their faith. Perpetua was a new mother, and her child was taken from her except to be nursed. Felicity was pregnant at the time and eventually gave birth in prison.
When Perpetua asked the Lord for a vision to understand her situation, she was given a dream. In the dream, there was a bronze ladder surrounded by weapons. To climb it without being torn to pieces, she had to look straight up and not to the right or to the left. Below the ladder was a serpent. Perpetua stepped on the head of the serpent, climbed the ladder, and found herself reaching the top, where she was clothed in white, and drank the sweetest milk. When she awoke with the sweet taste still on her lips, she knew with certainty it was the Lord’s will that she die.
Everyone begged Perpetua and Felicity to renounce their faith and be free to raise their children—even their guards and executioners. (No one took joy in killing a young mother—not even in a time when feeding Christians to wild animals was considered entertainment.) But Perpetua and Felicity kept their eyes on the Lord and held fast to their conviction.
As I read the story aloud, my husband fell asleep, and tears dripped down my face one after another for the next 30 minutes, as the Lord sent the truth of his kingdom—what it costs and what it’s worth—even deeper into my heart.
I love to be inspired by the stories of the saints. So many of us are focused on trying to have a good life here and now while keeping God in view. Yet, the highest calling we could aspire to as Christians is that of a martyr. “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” These stories are always challenging to my worldliness, but never quite like this one.
Perpetua and Felicity had something I value deeply and ask God for daily—a family on this earth. It was right there in front of them, and they never got to experience it. Instead, they waited to be slaughtered while their babies were cared for by others, knowing they would never have the opportunity to raise them.
Perpetua and Felicity knew a truth that is difficult to fathom. The kingdom of heaven is much, much better than anything this world has to offer. As highly as Christians value their families, it doesn’t hold a candle to the coming kingdom. Every day that I have waited for a family of my own, I’ve laid down a little of my hope in the world and gained a greater hope in Jesus’ kingdom. Whatever I long for here is but a shadow of all that is promised if I surrender it all.
Perpetua and Felicity made a much greater and more final sacrifice, and they did it all at once. The kingdom of heaven is so good it will redeem a child losing his mother and a mother missing her child’s life. Because Perpetua and Felicity were called to leave their babies behind in death, untold thousands (and more likely millions—including their own, sweet babies) have joined their spiritual family and will be united with them in a kingdom of goodness so pure we can only imagine it.
In years of waiting, my heart has changed a lot. I hope the fruit is a growing heavenly family. I’ll have to wait and see.
